Tomorrow at this time, my husband and I will be in St. Paul checked in for Pageant Weekend! I am full of emotions. Excitement, anticipation and a little anxiety are all on that list. I have spent the past 9 months promoting my platform and proudly representing Benton County. An experience of which I have no regrets! I'm looking forward to the pageant and most definitely want to be the woman who ends the evening with a crown on her head; but crown or not, I am so very glad I had the courage to come this far! Here's to a fabulous weekend and the newly crowned Mrs. Minnesota International 2016!
This past Sunday, I had the chance to meet some of the students from First Presbyterian Church in Foley who are currently studying 'Death & Dying in Relation to Faith' for their Confirmation Class. The group gathered at the funeral home and had the opportunity to learn more about being a Funeral Director as well as touring the building. I think it's great when people have the chance to explore behind the scenes at the funeral home when they are not emotionally involved so that they can feel more at ease when/if the time does arise when they are personally involved in funeral planning. Typically my presentations on grief have not been specifically tied to religion but this was requested to be appropriate to their subject. I was glad to share with the students some things I have learned about how someone's faith can impact their grief experience. This week I went on a wonderful adventure outside the boarders of Benton County. I was invited by the incredibly gifted Pastoral Minister, Greg Spoffard, who serves at Sacred Heart Catholic Church in Sauk Rapids, to speak at a BeFrienders meeting in Brainerd. I had heard of BeFrienders before but wasn't quite sure what was all involved in their ministry. One of the great things BeFrienders do is walk alongside someone who has lost a loved one. It was a privilege for me to share with them a presentation on the 'Journey of Grief'. Even more of a privilege was to hear their personal stories and the insight they took away from the presentation. An added bonus for the evening was enjoying dinner with Greg and a new friend at the Northwind Grille in Brainerd! If you are ever in the area, I would recommend stopping for a taste of their homemade meals! I've been very busy the past couple months on the roller coaster of life! Since my last post, my husband has been dealing with back issues and underwent surgery for a herniated disc. He seems to be healing well and since we are so used to having crazy work schedules, I'm enjoying having him home and spending extra time as a family. I have continued to do small group presentations on grief. Recently, I was invited to spend an afternoon with a special group of ladies at First Presbyterian Church in Foley. The women were all so warm and friendly! They turned a gloomy day (as far as the weather was concerned) into sunshine in my eyes. We used The Journey of Grief DVD series by Doug Manning to learn a little about the definition of grief, grief as a social problem and what it means to 'get in someone's bucket'. It was wonderful to hear them relate to the messages and share their stories. These truly are some very sweet, special women in the community! I was also invited to share a morning with a small group from Shepherd of the Pines Lutheran Church in Rice. We focused as well on The Journey of Grief and were able to learn about grief as a 'natural response to any loss'. Natural and Any are the key words in that phrase. Grief is natural and we need to allow ourselves to have those feelings and understand that the many emotions that come along with it are normal and to be expected. Any loss means that we can experience grief not only when we've lost a loved one, but also in day to day experiences...including something as simple as losing our purse! The more we learn about the process and feelings of grief, the more it becomes less of a mystery and we are able to help ourselves and others cope in healthy ways. On Easter morning this year, I was asked to be the 'guest speaker' at Graham United Methodist Church in Rice. Graham is the church where I was baptized as an infant and confirmed as a young adult; and is the church my parents, grandparents and many other relatives are still members of today. On Easter morning each year, the Youth are in charge of creating and participating in the Sunrise Service. They did a great job putting together scripture readings, music and even a short skit! When they asked me to be the guest speaker for the service, I was a little more nervous than I typically am speaking for a group. They were interested in my platform of grief. I wondered how I would put something together to fit the excitement that is brought by Easter morning. Fortunately (after quite a bit of prayer!), I came up with a presentation called 'Joy Comes in the Mourning' and talked about how we can find Joy even in the midst of grief. Speaking for church that morning was definitely an experience that stretched me out of my comfort zone and I am so very glad that being Mrs. Benton County International gave me that opportunity! I was honored today to spend the morning with some of our nation's greatest heroes...the men and women at the St. Cloud VA Health Care System. Following an inspiring program including performances from winners of the Veterans National Creative Arts Show, small groups were treated to an extensive tour of the VA facility. As part of the tour, we were encouraged to visit with residents of the Long Term Care units and share our love and appreciation for them with Valentine's Day balloons and cards (which had been donated by a variety of organizations). All of the staff were so welcoming and wonderful - it became quite clear that our Veterans are lucky to have such a caring community to call their home. The St. Cloud VA Health Care System is an amazing facility and I was excited to hear about the many projects and areas of growth they have planned for an even brighter future! I was recently invited to speak to the Salt & Pepper Group at Trinity Lutheran Church in Sauk Rapids. My two sons have attended preschool at the Trinity Campus through Prince of Peace Lutheran for the past five years so I felt very much at home (and was further welcomed by warm smiles and sweets!)
There were about 25 people in attendance and we focused on grief education which included: the definition of grief, grief as a social issue, and how to help yourself and others while grieving. I am positive that everyone took away something new they learned and I had an opportunity to listen to personal stories that led me away learning something as well! Grieving is not weakness Nor absence of faith. Grieving is as natural as Crying when you are hurt, Sleeping when you are tired or Sneezing when your nose itches. It is nature’s way Of healing a broken heart. ~ Doug Manning As the New Year begins, gym memberships soar and the grocery ads are all buzzing with the latest foods to get ourselves back on track to being healthy. We take the opportunity of a clean slate to kick start our motivation and make this our best year yet. We clean up our homes and organize our offices. But what about our mental and emotional health? Do we take the time to evaluate the core of our well-being?
I came across the following article by Dr. Gloria Horsley and thought it was especially fitting as we kick off 2016. News Years: A Six Point Assessment For Decluttering Your Grief This New Year may be a good time to declutter your grief: clean out that junk drawer of behavior and rid yourself of obstacles that might be keeping you from moving forward. It may be a time to ask yourself, “am I doing the things that make me happy or am I supporting others in dealing with their grief?” How we grieve is a personal as well as a community activity. We grieve the way we live. If prior to our loss we were a saver or a hoarder that may be the way we deal with our loss. Some people like to keep things tidy and have the philosophy that if you are not using it give it away. Others cherish lots of reminders like mom’s knickknacks and dad’s coin collection. There is no right or wrong way to grieve and there is not closure to grief; it is just that sometimes we make concessions that go contrary to our desires to move forward along our healing journey. If you are doing things that once worked, but no longer do, it may be a time to consider de-cluttering your grief. Below is an assessment of your readiness and/or willingness to declutter: 1. Am I being true to my feelings? 2. Am I letting others know what my needs are? 3. Am I able to tell love ones that old behaviors are no longer working for me”? 4. Am I willing to allow myself to break outdated promises? 5. Am I willing to accept that loved ones may be angry with me? 6. Am I willing to compromise? If you are able to answer the majority of these questions with a strong “yes” then you are on your way to a more peaceful and joyful existence, one with less stress and clutter. You were born to be joyful and happy. Use the New Year as an opportunity to again find meaning and purpose in your life. By Dr. Gloria Horsley, an internationally known grief expert and author. Gloria is the founder of the Open to Hope foundation. Please visit us often at www.Opentohope.com for more help and advice on finding hope after loss. Twice is nice! That's my theory on visiting with the tenants at Carefree Assisted Living in St. Cloud. I first visited them about a month ago and presented on my platform to about 35 tenants. It was so nice to see so many people come and learn about grief. For that presentation, I did some education on grief and then moved into the benefits of advance planning for the end-of-life. Yesterday I was invited back to Carefree to do a small group session on funeral pre-planning. We sat around a table family style with 8 participants who were able to take away a planning booklet as well as ask questions related to funerals. Many of them shared their personal stories and I felt blessed to be a listening ear. Two of the women in the group shared experiences they had both with deaths that had funerals pre-planned and then contrasted with deaths they experienced without advanced planning. They both agreed strongly that there was an amazing difference between the two and how much easier things were having the planning in place.
While at Carefree, I met a woman who is very involved with Light The Legacy and she said her family is planning a Death Over Dinner night. That perked my interest! She said it's basically a time that you set aside with your family to have dinner and intentionally have a conversation about end-of-life decisions. I found out there's even a website to walk you through the process! Very cool and something to definitely check out! December 5th was the annual Parade of Lights event in Sauk Rapids. This event is near and dear to my heart as I have put in many hours behind the scenes while volunteering on the Board of Directors for the Sauk Rapids Community Ambassador Organization. The Parade of Lights Family Day includes: Kids Bingo, concessions, a visit from Santa, silent auction, steak fry, meat raffle and lighted parade. It serves as the major fundraiser for the Ambassador Organization. This year was especially fun for me to be included in the festivities as Mrs. Benton County. One of the things our family loves to do together is ice fishing so it seemed very fitting for us to put together an ice fishing float!! My husband did an incredible job (we won 1st place)! My parents even joined in on the fun...my mom rode on the float and my dad drove the truck for the parade. We couldn't have asked for better weather or a more fabulous day!
On December 10th, I was invited to present to the Sartell Senior Connection during their Thursday morning 'Coffee & Conversation' held at Country Manor Apartments in Sartell. I had planned on enjoying a relaxing morning with the group getting to know them and then sharing a full presentation; but instead, ended up with a very full work schedule and the group was gracious enough to allow me to slide in, make an abbreviated presentation, and then slide out. An ever-changing schedule is one of the many things you quickly get used to working as a Funeral Director!
I was able to share with them some background about why I wanted to become involved in the Mrs. Minnesota International pageant. I also shared with them an educational DVD on how grief can be the underlying cause of social problems in our society. They each all left with a packet with Holiday Grief Help and information on the benefits of talking about End of Life decisions. A fun thing I found out while visiting with this group was that an Aunt of the current Mrs. Minnesota ,Kate Howe was in attendance! |
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January 2016
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